What makes a good neighbor?

As I am taking a break from writing my memoir (more to come on that), traveling and taking care of my family I decided to check back in with those of you who have been following along. How are you doing?

Understanding Good Neighbor Practices

This prompt requires careful handling: what makes a good neighbor? Well, I can share how I consider myself a good neighbor. It’s simple, really, and something many lack—a quality I’m proud to possess: “minding my own business.” Apart from waving while taking out my garbage, I mostly keep to myself. Do I aim to be the friendly neighbor bringing over baked goods, doing yard work, and saying hello? No, that’s not my desire. I don’t feel obligated just because we’re neighbors. However, there’s one exception—my gratitude extends to the neighbor who works as a crosswalk guard, ensuring my child’s safety to and from school.

Challenges of Homeownership and Basement Remodeling

I’m the quintessential millennial introvert, and now, we own real estate! It’s truly incredible. I relish yard work, designing, home improvements, and the freedom to do what I want (with my husband’s input, of course winks). I’ve cherished our cozy home with my family and pets.

Yet, homeownership has brought its share of challenges, especially with our ongoing basement remodel. Handling it ourselves with help from trade friends has saved us tens of thousands. However, the burden has been living upstairs with a new baby, an 8-year-old, two large dogs, a cat, and my husband and me. It’s been about two years, far longer than anticipated. Naively, I hoped it would be done before our baby’s arrival. Alas, the constant noise, stress, and unexpected issues have been overwhelming. Lately, I’ve tried to maintain a hopeful outlook, channeling my anxious mind elsewhere.

Navigating Neighborly Encounters and Noisy Neighbor Disturbances

Considering my perspective, what makes a good neighbor? Basic respect and consideration for those around you. You don’t need a perfect yard, but please, keep it neat. Inform neighbors about noisy activities reasonably in advance. Will it disturb my baby’s nap? Perhaps, but it’s just one nap out of 365 a year. This is my “mind your business” policy. However, if you’re yelling in your driveway late at night, it’s rude and annoying, yet I’ll still mind my business (unless someone’s in danger).

Few get to choose their neighbors; often, you discover them after moving into your dream home. I inherited my neighbors through marriage, residing in one of three identical properties built in 1960. We’re sandwiched between the other two homes, each on a 0.20-acre lot. So when the neighbors engage in loud behavior, I can’t help but overhear. Although it’s bothersome, I maintain distance, not involving myself or calling the police.

Then there’s the neighbor with severe bipolar disorder, leading to extreme mood swings. Initially, his outbursts were so intense, I contemplated calling the cops. However, we’ve grown accustomed to occasional arguments over time, even though it’s still unsettling. Life continues with these odd neighborly encounters.

Seeking Resolution Amidst Social Media Chaos

Fast forward to spring, and our neighbor begins excavating his driveway for a remodel. The noise surpasses expectations, causing disturbances early in the morning. 5am to be exact. Despite their warnings, it becomes unbearable. I feel the strain, especially as a stay-at-home mom working remotely. The tension builds between us, prompting us to address the situation.

I messaged my husband every morning, expressing my frustration at being woken up by our neighbor at 5am. He sympathized but didn’t grasp the extent of the situation as he leaves early for work (4 am). The tension thickened, leading us to approach our neighbors and request a later start time for their construction activities.

Concerned about potential pushback from my unmedicated, bipolar neighbor, I delved into researching local city codes. However, the legal jargon proved challenging to decipher. Seeking advice, I turned to a local social media group, seeking clarity on noise ordinances and rules pertaining to home-based excavation businesses.

The group’s response wasn’t what I expected. It escalated quickly, with people condemning our neighbor’s behavior. Strangely, his daughters, whom I’ve never met, joined the discussion, accusing me of dishonesty and aggravating the situation. Their aggressive stance surprised me; I intended solely to engage in a civil conversation.

Amid this turmoil, his wife unexpectedly paid a visit. I expressed my longing for peaceful mornings, apologizing for the social media post’s fallout but maintaining the validity of my concerns. Her response was disheartening; she mentioned her husband’s inability to discuss the matter for at least two weeks, implying a lack of control over his reactions. I left the conversation feeling a need for maturity on their part, hoping for an amicable resolution.

As of today, not much has changed, except a decrease in their business due to the approaching winter. Next summer, I hope they reconsider alternative approaches to their business operations that won’t disrupt our lives.

Wrap-Up: Navigating Neighborhood Dynamics and Home Remodeling

In the tapestry of homeownership, the threads of neighborly relations are woven unexpectedly. Embracing the notion that neighborly interactions come in various forms—sometimes harmonious and at times disruptive—reveals the complexities of shared spaces. From contemplating the essence of a good neighbor to confronting unforeseen disturbances caused by neighboring activities, the journey has been a mosaic of experiences.

Navigating the landscape of home remodeling alongside neighborly encounters uncovers both the beauty and challenges of communal living. The reality of inheriting neighbors, not choosing them, brings a blend of shared responsibility and occasional disruptions. Striking a balance between understanding, addressing disruptions, and advocating for peaceful coexistence stands as the ongoing challenge.

Ultimately, fostering mutual respect and seeking amicable resolutions amidst differences cultivates a community where everyone can find solace within their own homes. As homeowners, we navigate this landscape, aiming for harmony while embracing the diverse textures that make up the fabric of our shared living spaces.

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